Selasa, 10 Oktober 2017

Thank You

Posted by Unknown at 22.24 0 comments
Long distance relationship. Dia di Australia, gue di Indonesia. Jauh deh, yaa gak jauh jauh amat sih.
Karena pacar gue tentara, jadi gak bisa asal posting foto dia di sosmed. Ku berasa Descendant of The Sun.. *Ih gak banget asli haha

Kali ini mau cerita gimana baik dan sayangnya dia sama gue, bahkan setelah apa yang gue lakuin, dia masih setia.
Kita awal ketemu itu sekitar maret tahun 2016. Awalnya itu gue lagi deket sama bule Russia yang lagi kerja dan tinggal di Indo. Kita juga cuma temen aja, gak banyak ngobrol. Sampe sekitar sebulan seteleh agak lost contact, gue beraniin buat chat dia lagi, intinya sih mau curhat gitu, tapi malah dia yang chat gue duluan. Dan dari situ kita lanjut chattingan sampe 2 minggu kemudiannya dia nyatain suka sama gue,"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" *Anjay

Tanpa pikir panjang, gue terima aja. At first, I didn't really kinda like him, but he's an army so I said to myself "Isn't that what you want? having an arterima, "YES" .
my as your boyfriend? You'll never know what's gonna happen, take it or leave it". Yaudah lah gue

Awal pacaran ya biasa aja, dan karena menurut gue mukanya juga biasa aja, jadi yang gak terlalu menggebu gebu gitu. Tapi namanya pacaran ya, makin lama makin suka dan sayang. Ibarat singkong rasa keju, begitulah perasaan gue ke dia. Lama lama merasa "Kok dia ganteng juga ya??" *Enggak sih haha

Selama pacaran 1 tahun lebih ini, kita udah putus 2 - 3 kali kalo gak salah, dengan alasan yang sebenernya agak sensitif sih, iya, apalagi kalo bukan "Religion", obviously. Kita beda agama, dan itu jadi penghalang yang lumayan berat, karena awalnya ya dia ngotot dengan kepercayaannya. "I can't imagine myself as a muslim", that's what he said, So am I, I can't imagine myself as non muslim. 
Tapi dari putus, nyambung lagi, sampe suatu hari ketika gue bilang mau putus, dan satu satunya jalan untuk balikan adalah dia jadi mualaf, lalu dia bilang, "Annie, I will convert if that's what you want". *When the truth is I didn't expect he would say that, I was only making an excuse because that time I was falling in love with someone else and I didn't want to hurt him more knowing I fell out love with him* I know, shame on me. Tapi, karena pernyataannya itu pun yang buat gue menjadi mantap untuk balikan walaupun gue merasa gak bisa sayang yang sama lagi ke dia setelah gue suka sama orang lain.
Tapi, mungkin namanya takdir, kita balikan dan masih pacaran hingga sekarang. Dan gak pernah lewat satu haripun dia lupa bilang "I love you". Ohiya, alasan waktu itu gue putus juga bukan karena gue suka sama orang lain juga, tetapi karena ada beberapa sikap dia yang menurut gue susah banget di tolerir, dan kesibukannya sama kuliah bikin dia jadi super duper hambar, disitu gue merasa stagnan dan bodohnya, disitu juga gue malah deket sama orang lain dan punya drama sendiri sama dia. DAN kocaknya lagi, dia pun punya pacar tapi gak kasih tau gue, jadi kita sama sama bohong dan bilang single padahal masih punya pacar. Bahaha
But, you know, the deepest secret (That's not a secret anymore) is, I might still love that guy who stupidly had a gf and didn't tell me in the first place. I might still like him more than he knows, I guess until now. But there's always something that's better remain in your heart, like him..

Dan pacar gue,
One thing I'm sure is, he never leaves me. Even when my mum passed away, he was there for me, shockingly cried because he was just shocked as same as me. Dan segala bantuan baik finansial dan psikologis, sampe temen gue bilang, "Baik banget si masnya, jangan disia siakan punya pacar kayak gitu". Padahal dia di Australia sana, tapi loyal dan bersedia ngebantu gue yang sejatinya bukan siapa siapanya secara legal. Selalu kirim barang atau makanan jauh jauh dari Australia ke Indonesia, kirim surat layaknya dia lagi di tugas negara. Merasa kayak pacaran jaman dahulu sama tentara di era perang dunia. Lol

Senin, 18 September 2017

Sidang Kompre Manajemen Gunadarma - BA Cons, Finally!

Posted by Unknown at 22.21 0 comments
Finally! I am not a student anymore :D

Sidang yang bikin deg-degan, karena gue cuma belajar efektif H-2 sebelum sidang, gak bisa belajar dengan leluasa karena gue kemaren lagi internship selama 3 bulan, dan manalagi gue gak nyaman sama suasana kerja yang bikin uring-uringan; kerja, sidang, gak ada persiapan = DORR!

But I did it! Alhamdulillah. Gue bisa resign bertepatan dengan sidang, dan sekarang gue officially jobless. Lol

Langsung aja, jadi gue baru banget belajar itu H-7 sebelum sidang. Awalnya gue berpikir pembukaan daftar sidang itu awal september, gak taunya itu adalah masa sebelum kena bayar BPP (Oh kenapa sih kampusku duit mulu?). Jadi semua serba terburu-buru; belum kursus, belum ambil sertifikat PI, belum UM, belum belajar, ditambah kerja 8 jam tiap hari. Kebayang gak gimana udah malesnya gue karena semua urusan belum selesai?
Tapi alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar, satu persatu gue selesaian kewajiban mulai dari PI sampe UM dan kursus, dan memutuskan untuk enggak UM banyak karena gak punya waktu.

H-7, hari minggu, gue full belajar satu matkul, yaitu Manajemen Keuangan.
Oh iya, ada 3 matkul yang gue pilih: Manajemen Keuangan, Manajemen Pemasaran, dan Manajemen Strategik (Strategik itu Matkul pilihan).
Gak masuk sama sekali di otak karena isinya rumus, tapi karena gue suka perbankan, jadi istilah-istilah keuangan gue bisa paham lebih cepet ketimbang pemasaran.
Setelah pusing sama rumus, gue memutuskan untuk belajar di sela-sela istirahat di kantor, dan hanya fokus sama Manajemen Keuangan pas di rumah.

Tapi tebak apa? Selama di kantor, gue sama sekali enggak ada waktu untuk belajar! Jadi mau gak mau gue minta hari libur di hari kamis untuk full belajar Manajemen Pemasaran dan Strategik *FYI sidang di hari sabtu*
Di hari kamis itu gue full dari siang sampe tengah malem belajar semua matkul, gak terkecuali. Gue tulis ulang rangkuman, dan tulis lagi di MS Word. Capek, but worth it. Lama-lama mulai paham, walau masih keliru-keliru artinya. Sampe nangis pas vidcall sama pacar, dan dia jadi ikut bantuin ajarin Manajemen Keuangan which is useless because how could I understand finance in English when I didn't even know how to explain it in Indonesia??
Jadi sia-sia banget si Zac nerangin panjang lebar tentang NPV, PV, FV di vidcall sampe ngasih contoh kasus. Gue jawab cuma, "Ohh okay, that makes sense. Hm.. Ok... Ok ok.. hmmm" *dalam hati: si dodol, ngomong apaansih lau?

Hari H... *JENG JENG*
Berangkat dari rumah jam 5 pagi naik motor sama Raysa, sampe kampus kenari jam 6 kurang. PERJUANGAN.
Nunggu briefing jam 7 pagi, udah mulai deg-degan walaupun udah PD karena gue udah belajar semua materi jumat malem.
Pintu di buka dan mulai masuk ke ruangan masing-masing, buat skripsi sama kompre beda ruangan. Yang kompre di lantai 5. Sampe sana dengerin arahan panitia dan mulai dipanggil jadi beberapa orang untuk mulai diuji sama dosen.
Gue kebagian diuji jam 11 sampe jam 2 siang karena satu dosen telat dateng. Bayangin, dari pagi gue sampe terus panas gak ada AC pas briefing, nunggu dosen dapet bagian kelas di deket balkon, panas-panasan, belum makan, gak ada minum. Dewa penolong waktu itu Intan pas nawarin ada makanan, gue udah gak mikir dan langsung turun ke lantainya Intan karena udah pusing banget haha.
Selesai makan gue balik lagi ke lantai gue diuji, dan nunggu dosen terakhir buat nguji.

Nah, untuk rangkuman pertanyaan kira-kira begini:
(Penguji gue waktu itu: MK bu Sri, MP bu Peni, MS bu Renny)

MK: Mau cepet atau lama? Belajar dari buku siapa? coba bawa sini.
Gue: Cepet bu. Arthur J Keown, iya bentar bu.
MK: Yaudah, belajar apa aja dari buku itu? Ibu gak mau catetan kamu.
Gue: Rasio keuangan sama metode kelayakan investasi bu.
MK: Yaudah sebutin pengertian analisis rasio keuangan beserta rumusnya
Gue: aos%@^&!hjak$^%71^*!)@*ia&*&@*(&)!
MK: Udah selesai, sekarang kamu ke bu Peni

MP: Belajar apa aja?
Gue: STP, pengertian manajemen pemasaran, dll. Aduh saya bingung bu kalo ditanya belajar apa aja Haha
MP: haha yaudah coba jelasin segmen pasar terus dasar segmentasi itu apa?
Gue: uo%78257*^^*)*sj(%@01-^^^%%@*1-j;
MP: Jadi ini tuh blablablablablabla (Ada yang keliru jawaban gue)

Setelah istirahat, dilanjut sama bu Renny

MS: Coba sebutin strategi yang kamu tau
Gue: BCG, Swot, BMC
MS: Nah BMC coba, jelasin penerapannya beserta contoh kasusnya.
Gue: *Panjang lah pokoknya + salah salah ngomong dikit)

Keluar dengan perasaan lega dan yakin bisa jawab semua dengan baik, karena selama gue ditanya gue gak disuruh keluar buat belajar atau balik lagi ke ruangan.
Selesai semuanya, gue turun ke lantai 1 bersama orang orang yang udah selesai sidangnya untuk nunggu pengumuman kelulusan.
Makin lemes dan pusing disitu karena dehidrasi + kepaasan selama sidang + capek ngantuk lesu galau.

Jam 3 dipanggil semua yang kloter 2, dan dikasih arahan + nasehat sama panitia dan dosen supaya jangan berkecil hati kalau seandainya gak lulus sidang.
Sampe akhirnya dipanggil namanya satu-satu untuk bagi kelompok, dan gue dipanggil di kelompok 1.

"KELOMPOK 1, LULUS"

ALHAMDULILLAH! 

Keluar ruangan dengan perasaan lega dan bahagia, keluar ruangan dengan gelar SE.






 

YAY!
(Udah lah ditutupin mukanya pake apel sama setan, mukanya udah gak karuan soalnya efek kelaperan)

Thank you semuanya dan kampus, akhirnya gak harus UM lagi hahaha


Minggu, 06 Agustus 2017

What I Miss...

Posted by Unknown at 02.01 0 comments
I miss how we used to be,
So vibrant, so honest, so wild and free. 
I miss the way you would understand,
Listen carefully, and be there when I needed a hand. 
I miss our long, random talks at night,
Our private conversations,
Our silly little fights. 
I miss the way you could read my mind,
Know what to say when words were hard to find. 
I miss the way you could brighten my day, make me forget the mistakes,
Make the pain go away. 
I miss how you made me laugh, hate when I'm mad.


-

Minggu, 23 Juli 2017

Why Life Feels Impossible Recently

Posted by Unknown at 16.43 2 comments
Bahah It seems like I'm a pessimistic bitch (It's an absolute fact about me not "seems" haha). My anxiety becomes more and more unbearable recently, like I can't be positive at all about my life and all I wanna do is quit and bring my comfort zone back.

A lot of my friends and family advise me to hang in there a bit longer. But all I can say, every time I thought I finally understood how this accounting software works, I was wrong!
I have made some mistakes for like 3 times already in my 6 days at work. *Kill me*
3 or 4 times? 
Okay these all I can remember atm:
1. Wrong date input 
2. Wrong amount input 
3. Release invoice without checking the customer's balance, turned out that customer had not fully paid its bill yet! (Kill me kill me!) 
4. Something that wasn't my fault but had to take a responsibility for it.

Okay, 4 times in a week. 

I even messaged my junior (A finance student) and my seniors in my former office where I was doing an internship about my current job. I asked them a lot about accounting stuff, like what does this mean, why is it like this, like that, how to know this, that, BLA BLA BLA. That makes me look so stupid, I kept saying I had been studying economics for 7 years: This is the result.

Luckily my senior didn't say "Ask another employee in your office instead". I would be dead embarrassed if she said that.
I could ask other employees in my office, but I didn't want to. Since I'm not close to any of them yet. That just makes me feel awkward asking them more and more knowing I have made mistakes even after I asked them how things work. They might have decided to fire me after 2 months, or sooner.
SOOOOO Pessimist. How to kill my negative thoughts?
 

Minggu, 16 Juli 2017

It's Been Only Three Days

Posted by Unknown at 22.16 0 comments


I KNOW
It's been only three days.
But it feels like WTF, already. I know it will sounds like excuses, but,
I HATE ACCOUNTING!
I kinda have love-hate relationship with the whole economics thing.
I hate finance.
I hate quantity data--that's why I chose SWOT as my thesis, because I enjoy working with qualitative data which I can share my thoughts through writing.
I hate formulas, I hate math.
That's not my passion at all.

A lot of excuses.

I still remember the manager asked me, "What would you do if you were stress at work? In case there will be so much pressure when you're working here"
And I was gladly and confidently answered him, "Remember why I choose this job and what I want to achieve in the future" *Something like that.
Now I will gladly say to myself that I was a big LIAR during the interview LOL (Aren't we all?)
I don't know if I can do well.
I don't know if I want to.
Accounting was the only thing I had always tried to avoid when I was in high school (The funny thing is I was an accounting student in high school haha).
I was happier studying business management in University because I didn't study accounting much like I was in high school, although I had to study finance which I'm not fond of.

Some people told me to give up, some of them advise me to fight a bit longer and beat my anxiety. But I still don't understand with the whole accounting software thing at my office. Every time I thought I finally understood, I was wrong. And I don't know what I can do tomorrow without my mentor (Former internship accountant at my office). GAHH.. Life is just too cruel to my weak stupid heart and mind.

Can I stay a bit longer and finally enjoy working there?
Can I even be friends with all the employees there? They are so individualist.
 

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